Meredith:

Ingredients.  Take a mixture of tender, young brains.  Male and female.

Michael:

Make sure these are of the finest quality and eager to learn.

Meredith:

Marinade in a rich mixture of Maths and English.

Michael:

Take a pinch of algebra – but no more than a pinch – it can make things a little tough!

Meredith:

Add a dash of grammar and a sprinkle of Shakespeare.

Michael:

Ah, yes, the Bard – four houses all alike in dignity.  In fair King’s Chester where we lay our scene.

Meredith:

One heaped tablespoon of science.

Michael:

Now, Miss Benson Burner, we’re cooking on gas!

Meredith:

A little French adds spice to this dish.

Michael:

Un soupçon de français, mademoiselle?

Meredith:

And it’s all bound together with a generous helping of sport.

Michael:

Leather ball, willow bat and a smelly shinpad for the football mad.

Meredith:

Lovely!  You need to balance this with a fragrant bouquet of hockey, netball and rounders.  Then garnish with music and, to decorate, add a splash of art.

Michael:

Ah, the impressionists … Paul Cézanne, Edgar Degas, Claude Monet … Alistair McGowan.

Meredith:

For natural sweetness, add a bucket full of friends.

Michael:

You’ll find plenty of them – and they’re never out of season.

Meredith:

Having gathered all your ingredients, mix thoroughly and bake slowly in the Junior School for one to four years.

Michael:

Try to keep an even temperature – avoid freezing in the swimming pool and roasting on Sports Day.  Sister Catherall recommends frequent basting in sun screen.

Meredith:

A good tip.  Now, pass the Plas Menai test and you’re done.

Michael:

Then we move on.  We’ve almost finished the starter and it will soon be time for us to begin the main course.

Meredith:

Yes, just another seven years to go!  We’ll taste the delight of Latin, Spanish and Classics.  Not to mention Physics, Biology and Chemistry.

Michael:

Ooh, I feel a bit sick!

Meredith:

So, we’re ending our time at the Junior School.  It’s amazing how quickly it’s passed.

Michael:

But, as we say our goodbyes, we can tell you …

Both:

… it’s really been a blast!